“I’m not photogenic.”
If I had a pound for every time a woman said those words to me before a boudoir session, I’d probably be writing this from a beach somewhere.
It’s one of the most common fears I hear, especially from women over 50. The belief often sits alongside a few others: I’m too old, I’m not brave enough, or I’ve never liked photos of myself.
And I understand why those thoughts exist. Most women have spent decades seeing heavily edited images in magazines, adverts and social media feeds. Perfect lighting. Perfect angles. Perfect bodies that look nothing like real life.
So when a woman looks at herself and thinks, “That could never be me,” she assumes the problem is her.
But here’s the truth. After photographing hundreds of women, I’ve learned something very simple.
The problem is almost never the woman.
Let’s talk about the real reasons so many women believe they are unphotogenic.
1. Most women have never been photographed properly
Nearly every woman who walks into my studio says some version of the same thing.
“I hate having my photo taken.”
When we dig a little deeper, it turns out the photos they’re thinking of are rushed snapshots. Someone shouting “cheese!” at a family gathering. A phone camera appearing unexpectedly. Harsh lighting. Awkward angles. Eurgh!!! (Delete!!)
That isn’t photography. That’s just someone pressing a button. Where on erth is the skill in that?
Professional portrait photography is completely different. It’s about light, direction, posture, and understanding how bodies move and photograph. Small adjustments can transform an image completely.
When those elements come together, something surprising happens.
Women who believed they were unphotogenic suddenly see themselves in a completely different way.
2. We’re our own worst critics
Women often carry decades of quiet self-criticism.
Lines around the eyes. Softer arms. A stomach that doesn’t look like it did at 25.
But the fascinating thing about the human brain is that we tend to focus on what we dislike and ignore everything else.
When I show women their photographs during a session, they often notice something different first.
Their smile.
Their eyes.
The strength and character in their face.
The things they assumed had disappeared are often still there, just hidden beneath years of self-doubt.
3. Society has told women that ageing makes them invisible
For a long time, the media has quietly pushed the idea that beauty belongs to the young.
Wrinkles are something to “fix.” Grey hair is something to hide. Ageing is treated like a problem that needs solving.
But here’s the strange reality.
When you photograph women over 50, you often see something younger faces don’t yet have.
Depth.
Life experience. Strength. Resilience. Character.
Lines around the eyes usually come from decades of laughter, love, grief and survival. Those things create presence. And presence photographs beautifully.
Age doesn’t remove beauty. It changes it.
4. Bravery often looks different than people expect
Another thing women often say to me is:
“I wish I was brave enough.”
Part of that fear comes from what people imagine boudoir photography is. Many women picture something very exposed, very revealing, or even a bit raunchy.
That isn’t what I do. I built my business to be appropriate for women of my age (and I’m 63) – and I don’t want to poke my bum in the air to be photographed from behind -so why should you?
My style of boudoir is subtle and elegant. In many ways it’s about covering up rather than uncovering. Soft fabrics, beautiful lighting, gentle posing. Sometimes it’s a shirt slipping off a shoulder, a sheet wrapped loosely around you, or a quiet portrait that simply captures your expression.
It’s never about pushing you to reveal more than you’re comfortable with, and it certainly isn’t about explicit or naked images.
The women who walk into my studio aren’t fearless. Many are nervous. Some are shaking. Sometimes we have tears! A few admit they nearly cancelled in the drive – or rang to say the car had broke down!
Then something magical happens during the shoot. (I call it my magical pixie dust!)
They realise they’re safe. They’re guided through every pose. It’s fun. They start to relax. They start to laugh.
By the end, the same woman who arrived feeling unsure is standing taller, smiling more, and wondering why she waited so long.
5. Confidence often comes after the experience — not before
This might be the biggest misconception of all.
Many women think they need confidence before doing something like a boudoir shoot.
In reality, confidence is usually the result of doing the thing that scared you.
Seeing yourself through someone else’s lens can be powerful. Not because it changes who you are, but because it reveals parts of you that have been there all along.
Strength. Beauty. Presence.
Qualities that never actually disappeared.
They just needed to be seen.
This is exactly why I created my Ageless Over 50 Project.
It’s a portrait and boudoir experience designed specifically for women over 50 who may feel invisible, unsure of themselves, or convinced that their best years are behind them.
The truth is, some of the most powerful photographs I have ever taken have been of women in their 50s, 60s and 70s.
Women who walked in saying they were unphotogenic.
Women who said they weren’t brave enough.
Women who believed they were “too old.”
And every single one of them left seeing themselves differently.
If you’ve ever wondered what it might feel like to finally see yourself in a new light, the Ageless Over 50 Project might be the perfect place to start.
Because the real question isn’t whether you’re photogenic.
It’s whether you’ve ever been photographed in a way that truly sees you.
If you’d like to know more about the Ageless over 50 Project – click here – I’m now taking a waitlist for the next Project starting in April 2026