50 over 50 Project ~ Chapter Three ~ Paula

 WHAT IS YOUR OCCUPATION? I am working voluntarily with the local hospital radio and also working with a charity befriending the elderly and lonely residents in the community which I thoroughly enjoy doing. Being an ex nurse I still have the caring attitude towards people, and enjoy being able to give something back to the community.

HOW OLD ARE YOU – AND WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE? I’m 59.  No longer worrying about what other people think of you and to be able to stand up for yourself when you know that you are in the right. During my younger years I never used to stand up for myself and would let people walk over me. But now things have changed! I now stand up for myself and give as good as I get which I believe is a good thing, others might not feel the same!

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU FEEL STRONGER? My life hasn’t been a bed of roses to say the least! I grew up knowing that I was never wanted by my parents as they wanted a boy for my brother, which was pretty tough to take. The lesson I learnt from this was if I went on to have more than one child, I would treat them all the same.

When I left school, I went into nursing, which was my dream job. I left home at the age of 17 and moved into the nurses home and began my training.

I enjoyed my life and loved everything I did. At the age of 20, my life came crashing down. I was a passenger on a motorbike where we were stationary at traffic lights, there was a car in front of us, and we were hit from behind by a 56 seater coach doing 70mph when he hit me. I was thrown off the motorbike and into the traffic coming the other way. At the time the road we were on was the main arterial road into London. I still remember the events leading up to the accident and afterwards waking up in the ambulance, but not the bits in between, which I suppose in a way is a good thing.

As a result of the accident I lost my job as a nurse, together with my home and had to pick myself up and start again. Literally! Following the accident I had to have reconstructive surgery to my left foot/ankle. I have also had partial Achilles replacement on my left foot.

In the past 18 months I have also had 2 operations (one on each foot) and as I write this blog are recovering from spinal problems . I also have another operation to go through to replace the Achilles on my left foot. Walking and standing for short periods is a problem for me and I am in pain 24/7. All as a result of the accident I had when I was younger.

You don’t realise when you are young the impact that something like this has on your body when you are older. I do get very bitter about this from time to time, but believe with good reason. I tend to spend a day or so feeling this way, but I pick myself up and carry on. I don’t know where I get the strength from, but find it from somewhere. As regards my illness I don’t know what the future holds, but as I have always said to the family “As long as I have legs, I will try and use them”.

I do believe that things happen for a reason and any hardships you have to go through will make you stronger and I hope they have.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER IS YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT? I think my greatest achievement in my life so far is losing 8 stone in weight, We moved up to Lincolnshire in 2016, and as part of my annual diabetic check at the GP’S surgery, they had to weigh me. When I stood on the scales, I could not believe how big I was. The following week I joined my local slimming club, and the rest you can say is history.

It took 21 months to lose 8 stone, and at time’s, found it really frustrating. Other members in the group could go for walks and the gym to help with their weight loss, but because of my disability I am unable to do this. I have put about a stone on since having the first two operations on my feet, but are attending my local slimming group again.

I am determined to get back to the weight I was prior to having my operations. I am sure I will do this. On a positive note I managed to reverse my diabetes which I feel really proud of.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS? Perfect happiness for me is being surrounded by people who love and appreciate you for who you are, and not having to worry about anything.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION? My most treasured possession is my little dog. She is a rescue dog and have had her for 15 months now. She has had a tough time of it in the past, and she has really helped me with my mental health. We got her at a time when I was not in a good place, but she gives me something else to focus on instead of myself. I don’t know where I would be without her.

WHAT’S LEFT ON YOUR BUCKET LIST? I haven’t really got a bucket list, but I would like to go back to New Zealand to see family. Although I have been there twice before, I would like to go there again.
I have always wanted to complete the London Marathon – in the wheelchair race, but I would cause chaos with the other competitors|!

WHAT WAS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE? My greatest extravagance was going to New Zealand. When we have been there before we have stopped over in Los Angeles and Hawaii just to break the journey. we had a brilliant time, but as you can imagine it wasn’t cheap. We spent a month travelling.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF? My body and the way I look. I have always hated the way I look and despite losing weight I still look in the mirror and hate what I am seeing. Other people tell me different but unfortunately I can’t see this.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF? Being a caring and considerate person. I have always cared about people and will do everything I can to make sure my fiends and family are ok. Sometimes people don’t appreciate the fact that I care. But at the end of the day it’s their loss.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? My greatest fear is not being able to use my lower limbs. I am very lucky that I have a good surgeon who is trying to do everything he can to make life a bit easier for me.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS? Someone who will be there for me to support me through the good and bad times. Likewise I would do the same for them.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF? Enjoy life, travel and see as much of the world before you settle down.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVOURITE QUOTE? Be yourself – everyone else is already taken – Oscar Wilde

AND FINALLY…..HOW DID YOU FEEL AFTER YOUR 50 OVER 50 BOUDOIR SHOOT? The few weeks before my photo shoot, I was really nervous, thinking have I done the right thing. When the day finally arrived Sharon and Katie made me feel so at ease. When my session was over I was buzzing. This feeling lasted for several days after my photo shoot.

The nerves started again on the days leading to the reveal of my pictures. I was truly amazed on how brilliant the pictures were, and didn’t realize that I too could look so good. I would definitely consider having more pictures taken in the future.